Recurring halos in my work

Recently I sat down and looked at my work and got to questioning why I choose the images, colors, patterns and brush strokes that I do. I noticed a recurring halo behind the subject in a lot of my work. I never really thought super deeply as to why I use this halo to portray the life force within each subject. 

But when I thought about it, it was pretty obvious; I remembered all of the images I was surrounded by in my catholic childhood and christian upbringing. That never really clicked until this recent bird painting, which was screaming with references to christian imagery. The golden halo, a crucifixion kind of stance, the cross formation within the bird, even the pink drips that maybe reference blood- all these characteristics were completely unplanned and unintentional.

But it makes sense because growing up, I was taught that the Holy Spirit (i.e. life force)I’m trying to depict was symbolized as a golden circle behind the subject. In theology class, I always zoned out to the golden halo of each painting in the room- and I guess I integrated that symbol into my own work. 

While I don’t personally practice christianity anymore- it is really crazy to see how it directly impacts my artwork today!

I also know that when I think about Catholicism- I think about my paternal grandmother. My gramma is the definition of a matriarch. She is one of the strongest women I’ve ever known who I really associate feeling safe and secure with.

She is a devout Catholic, who growing up if we were spending the weekend with her- we were going to church. Religion was very important in her life, and she really tried to share that with us. My gramma was one of 9 kids- her dad died when she was young, and her mom, with polio, was left to raise all 9 kids. My gramma always said the only thing they always had was religion, so it was important to her that we were raised practicing too.

Religion didn’t stick for all my siblings, my youngest sister probably still practices the most, but besides that I think we all have different spiritual practices now. I think what is important is we took the good and positive out of what we learned at church, the endless Wednesday night CCD classes and a Christian high school experience.

And maybe it wasn’t the religion that I felt connected enough to unintentionally paint- but my relationship with my grandma and her association to my religious upbringing. My gramma really helped raise my siblings and I while we were younger and both my parents were working. She did a phenomenal job of making us feel cared for, and maybe I try to recreate that comfort in my artwork through that religious imagery.

Truthfully, I chose to paint this photo of a bird because I felt like it captured a moment of rebirth and excitement. It gave me a feeling like a phoenix rising from the ashes and I was inspired by it and just wanted to paint it.

But I see how I tackled it- was a subconscious choice of the art and iconography I was familiarized with. I also think the timing is very funny and coincidental with Easter just around the corner. Internally, when I started this I knew spring was around the corner- birds were chirping more, there was more golden sunlight and fun spring colors to enjoy. So while I was definitely influenced by my past- this painting is also playing off the biggest inspiration in my life today- nature!

Personally, I feel all religions are talking about the same things just with different terminology or symbols. Just because I used a golden halo, that is not how I literally imagine the soul to look or feel. I just wanted to reference this incapturable energy and essence within the subject.

I’m happy this painting turned out to be so obvious in its references- so I can better understand why I create the work I do.